


I Wanna Be Yours

by musette22



Series: Tumblr prompts [3]
Category: Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Anthony Mackie Is a Good Bro, Blow Jobs, Evanstan - Freeform, First Kiss, Gay For You, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:27:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22379449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musette22/pseuds/musette22
Summary: A few times, Sebastian catches him staring, and gives him an odd look.“You okay, Chris?” he asks, the third time it happens.Despite the fact that he’s an actor, Chris knows he tends to be a bad liar and wear his emotions on his sleeve, but he prays Sebastian will buy his white lie just this once.“Fine, yeah fine,” Chris assures him. “Just a little tired, I’ll be back to normal tomorrow.”Sebastian gives him a sympathetic smile, and Chris feels like the worst kind of scum.
Relationships: Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan
Series: Tumblr prompts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1652257
Comments: 65
Kudos: 475





	I Wanna Be Yours

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the following Tumblr prompt: _Can you write a fic set in 2016 during press tour where chris has realised he likes seb so stops inviting him to his hotel room to watch a film and seb doesn't understand why chris is avoiding him and confronts him please_
> 
> Title from I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys.
> 
> I love comments!!!!! And I love you <3

_A pair of grey-blue eyes flash mischievously; lush, pink lips curving up into a smirk that sends a shiver of anticipation down his spine. He reaches out; hard, unyielding muscle under his fingertips, pulling, tugging closer. Lips finding smooth skin, rough stubble, then slotting over a soft, luscious mouth. The kiss is deep, messy, moans and sighs ringing out in the quiet as bodies curve and grind. Soft skin and hard flesh and sparks of pleasure that make his skin tingle, make his back arch and his mouth drop open. He feels good,_ they _feel good, and he_ wants, _he wants more than he’s ever wanted anything before. Wants to grab and hold on and not let go. So he does, right as he tips over the edge, right as pleasure rolls over him in sweet waves and he reaches, grasping… nothing but thin air._

Chris jolts awake with a gasp, eyes flying open.

He lies there, panting, staring up at the ceiling as he slowly regains consciousness. His first thought is, _huh, it’s been a while since I had a wet dream_ , but then the specifics of the dream register in his sleep-drunk brain and his thoughts screech to a halt.

_Grey-blue eyes. Rough stubble. Hard muscle._

He blinks rapidly a few times, as if that might magically transform the images now seared into his brain into something easier to swallow, but it’s no use.

Sebastian.

He just had a wet dream about his good friend Sebastian. Sebastian, who is definitely a man. And straight. As is Chris – or so he thought.

He shakes his head, trying to dispel the last of the sleepy cobwebs, which are clearly causing him to overreact. One dream does not make him gay. Dreams are strange and unpredictable things, everyone knows that. Sometimes they show you something utterly wild and ridiculous, and you wake up wondering what the hell all that was about.

In a way, it even makes sense he would dream about Sebastian, they’d watched a movie in Chris’s hotel room only last night after all. Movie nights have become somewhat of a routine during this press tour, since their rooms are on the same floor and they don’t have much else to do in the evenings. They’re in Singapore, currently, and before that China, and even though there is no doubt plenty to explore in the city, Chris is usually spent after the day’s commitments are done and dusted and just wants to change into some sweats and chill. Mackie does try to venture out as much as possible, but Sebastian, like Chris, prefers staying in the evening. Since Chris and Sebastian have much the same taste in movies, they’ve been steadily making their way through some of the classics, Before Sunrise having been the latest of those.

That had probably been what had gotten his brain all mixed up, Chris thinks, relieved. The romance of the movie combined with the last face he saw before bed. That’s all.

But as he finally drags himself out of bed and steps under the spray of the shower, images of Sebastian’s smile, his sharp cheekbones and long, pale neck dance before his mind’s eye, unexpected and enchanting. It’s like he can still feel the ghost of Sebastian’s mouth against his, even though it was never even there to begin with, making his body thrum with a confusing mixture of want and guilt.

He’s not supposed to want Sebastian this way, but he does – the way his body is already starting to respond again to just the memory of the dream is undeniable.

Chris lets his forehead drop against the tile wall of the shower cabin, squeezing shut his eyes.

Then, with that same mixture of lust and guilt, he lets his right hand slowly run down his abdomen. He stops trying to resist the images that his brain keeps offering up – of Sebastian’s face screwed up in pleasure, of his mouth, pink and wet and inviting, of his strong thighs and long, lean legs. Chris lets it all wash over him along with the hot water, sparking things inside of him he never knew he could feel. It’s quicker than it should be, considering he just came not half an hour ago, that he feels the toe-curling pleasure start to unfold low in his gut, cresting and cresting until he gasps loudly, Sebastian’s name falling from his parted lips as he spills over his own fist.

The water immediately washes away the evidence of his indiscretion, but it doesn’t manage to rid him of the uncomfortable feeling it leaves behind.

Chris sighs deeply as he turns off the shower and reaches for a towel, hoping futilely that he might have gotten whatever this was out of his system by giving into it this once.

\---

No such luck.

When Chris steps out of his hotel room after breakfast and makes his way to the elevator, at exactly the same time as Sebastian appears from his room, his traitorous heart skips a beat and Chris facepalms internally.

“Morning.” Sebastian smiles at him as they both lean against the glass back wall of the elevator.

Chris has to clear his throat – twice – before he’s able to respond. “Hey, Seb.”

He glances over at Sebastian from the corner of his eye. He doesn’t look noticeably different from how he looks on any other day, and yet it’s like Chris is seeing him in a whole new light. There’s no denying Sebastian is an exceptionally handsome man – Chris has always been aware of that on some level – but now, Chris is noticing how his eyes sparkle, how his hair looks shiny and freshly washed, and how he really wants to run his fingers through it to find out if it’s as soft as it looks.

Well, fuck.

“Sleep well?” asks Sebastian, unaware of Chris’s inner panic.

“Yeah, yeah,” Chris replies, nervously licking his lips. “Fine, thanks. You?”

“Great. Slept like a baby. Dreamt you and Mackie and me were at some sort of theme park? Mackie screamed like a pig on the roller coaster.” Sebastian grins at him. “Must be because you keep going on about Disneyland lately, huh?”

Chris chuckles, but on the inside he’s groaning.

So while Chris had a wet dream about Sebastian, Sebastian had dreamt about them going to a _theme park_ together. With Mackie. As _friends_ , which is all they are and ever will be. This is exactly why the private thoughts Chris’s been having are inappropriate as fuck.

They make some small talk on their way to the cab that will take them to their first destination of the day, and Chris breathes a sigh of relief when he sees Mackie already leaning against the side of the vehicle.

“And what time do you call this, fellas?”

Sebastian rolls his eyes. “I call this right on time, Anthony.”

“Which means I’m early, which means you could be doing better, Sea Bass.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sebastian scoffs. “It’s too early for this, try me again when I’ve had another coffee.”

Chris stares at him for a beat too long, realizing with a start that he’s an absolute sucker for Sebastian’s sass. As he gets into the cab after Mackie, he gives himself a stern talking to. He is a grown ass man and there is absolutely no need for him to lose his shit over a little snark, however cute it may be. But damn, it really is cute.

“You’re unusually quiet this morning,” Mackie remarks a minute or two into the drive, turning towards him.

Chris has to do his best to focus on Mackie’s face instead of on the fact that he can feel the heat of Sebastian’s thigh next to his own and gives Mackie what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “Oh, just… slept a little funny, is all.”

Anthony hums. He doesn’t seem convinced.

\---

The rest of the day is a special kind of torture for Chris, since he spends most of it in close proximity to Sebastian, which is both great and terrible.

Suddenly, he can’t seem to unsee how lovely Sebastian’s smile is, how bright his eyes are, how elegant his hands. When his minds wanders, he wonders how it would feel to have those strong arms wrapped around his body, that muscular chest pressed against his own, and even though he’s never seriously entertained the thought of being with another man, he can’t deny that that’s exactly what he’s craving right now.

A few times, Sebastian catches him staring, and gives him an odd look.

“You okay, Chris?” he asks, the third time it happens.

Despite the fact that he’s an actor, Chris knows he tends to be a bad liar and wear his emotions on his sleeve, but he prays Sebastian will buy his white lie just this once.

“Fine, yeah fine,” Chris assures him. “Just a little tired, I’ll be back to normal tomorrow.”

Sebastian gives him a sympathetic smile, and Chris feels like the worst kind of scum.

That evening, after the last of the interviews is over and they’re all heading back to their hotel, Chris makes up an excuse of a headache and wanting an early night to get out of their usual movie night, which Sebastian thankfully accepts without question. In reality, Chris lies awake for hours after he’s turned off the light, tossing and turning. When he finally does drift off, he dreams he’s lying down with his head in Sebastian’s lap while Seb pets his hair and murmurs softly too him. Nothing major happens, really, but the overall feeling the dream imparts on him is one of contentment and affection, and leaves Chris feeling even more confused than before.

Because one thing these dreams – both of the night and the daytime variety – are starting to make him realize, is that there’s no way these feelings are entirely new, not with how strong they already are. Maybe the most frustrating part of this whole thing is that Chris has always prided himself on being a self-aware, reflective person. He’s dismayed, to say the least, that he apparently managed to keep a secret of this magnitude from himself.

How the fuck did he not realize how he felt about Sebastian before?

Moreover, he’s having a hard time trying to come to terms with the fact that he has feelings for not just a friend, but a male friend, and with the guilt he feels over keeping all of this from Sebastian. At the end of the day, it’s just not fair to him that Chris is having all these thoughts and dreams and when Sebastian just thinks of Chris as a friend and nothing more. But he can’t possibly tell him either, just like there’s no way he can just magically get rid of his feelings.

The only solution he sees, really, is to create as much distance between himself and Sebastian as possible. So while he’s still perfectly pleasant and professional during the day, in the evenings Chris makes up some excuse and begs off, to stew in his misery in his own room. Alone.

The third time it happens, Sebastian looks at him quizzically and asks him if there’s anything the matter. Chris assures him there isn’t, but he can’t quite look him in the eye while he says the words.

The fourth time, the look Sebastian gives him is one of poorly disguised hurt and confusion, and after that he stops asking altogether.

Chris hates the thought that Sebastian would think he has a problem with him or that he’s hurt by the sudden change in behavior, but it can’t be helped. It’s for the best. The press tour will be over soon, and then, if he’s lucky, all of this will just go away by itself.

Inevitably, things become a little… strained between Sebastian and him. They’re both professionals, so to the outside world it probably won’t seem like there’s anything amiss, though Mackie, of course, does pick up on it.

After one particularly tense interview where Chris keeps positioning himself so that Mackie is between him and Sebastian, Mackie corners him in the hallway.

“Bro, what the hell is going on with you?”

Chris sets his jaw, forcing himself to look Mackie in the eye. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Pull the other one, Chris,” Mackie snorts. “You’re a great actor, but a shit liar. Anyone ever told you that?”

With a sigh, Chris deflates. “All the time, actually,” he says wearily.

“So? What the hell is going on between you and Sebastian?”

“Nothing. There’s nothing going on. It’ll be fine, I just gotta – I need a little time for myself.”

Mackie raises an eyebrow. “That’s fine, dude, whatever you need. But please, for the love of god, talk to Sebastian. Dude’s sensitive as fuck and he’s walking around like a kicked puppy because you’re giving him the cold shoulder all of a sudden.” He claps Chris on the arm, giving it a little squeeze to emphasize his point. “Now, I don’t know what happened between you two, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t deserve that.”

“Fuck,” Chris sighs, rubbing his tired eyes. “I didn’t mean for it to seem like I was giving him the cold shoulder, I swear. He’s done nothing wrong, it’s just a – a thing I need to figure out for myself first.” He gives Mackie a pleading look, willing him to understand. “I can’t talk to him right now, Anthony, I’m sorry. But I’ll try to be less... weird.”

Mackie nods. “Alright. But if you keep this bullshit up, sooner or later it’s going to come to a head, man. If I noticed you two are acting weird, others will too and then you just _know_ all sorts of rumors are gonna spread, alright? Just saying.”

Chris makes a face. “Yeah. You’re right. I’ll try harder, okay?”

“You better.”

\---

And he does.

He tries so hard to act normal and treat Sebastian like he did before that he ends up giving himself an actual headache. Nevertheless, whenever the cameras are off, Sebastian is still walking around with drooping shoulders, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth – which is unfairly distracting and the reason Chris ends up staring at him even more than he usually does –so it’s possible he’s not doing quite as good a job as he’d hoped.

That night, when Chris is about to start making another excuse to get out of movie night and go to his room alone, Mackie steps in and invites himself over, too. _Shoulda seen that coming_ , Chris thinks. Well, at least with the buffer of Mackie between them, maybe it won’t be so bad.

But of course, Mackie isn’t going to make this easy on him. He firmly plants himself on one end of the couch, which means Chris and Sebastian have to sit next to each other, which means both of them sit rigidly, pressed against the back of the couch, making sure neither their arms nor legs are touching. Chris doesn’t really take in any of the movie, simply because he’s so utterly focused on Sebastian to his right.

At one point, when Sebastian laughs at one of Mackie’s jokes, his knee jostles Chris’s, and Chris jolts like he’s been electrocuted, his whole body burning up at the simple contact. It’s _ridiculous_. He used to touch Sebastian all the damn time and never once had an issue with it – apart from maybe not wanting to let go on a few occasions, but he’d always blamed that on Sebastian being a good hugger – and suddenly his body is going all haywire because their fucking _knees_ touched. What the fuck.

“Anyone want another beer?” Chris asks, jumping up from the couch and stalking towards the mini fridge without waiting for a reply. When he turns back, Mackie is giving him an overtly exasperated look. Sebastian is staring at a fixed point on the opposite wall, his face drawn tight.

Suddenly, Chris is hit with a bone deep tiredness.

He hates this. He hates not knowing how to handle his own feelings, not knowing what to do about any of this, and most of all, he hates hurting Sebastian.

“Look, guys,” he starts, despising himself even as he’s saying the words. “I’m not feeling too hot, actually. I think I’m just going to head to bed. Maybe we can finish the movie some other time?”

His words are greeted by a pregnant silence.

Just as he’s about to squirm where he stands because it’s just getting so excruciatingly awkward, Mackie slaps his knees and gets up off the couch. “Right, then. I know when I’m not wanted. You comin’, Seb?’

“No.”

Startled, Chris’s head snaps up to find Sebastian looking straight at him, a determined expression on his face that almost manages to mask the hurt.

Holding his gaze, Sebastian adds, “I think I’m going to stay a bit longer.”

Mackie eyebrows climb towards his hairline. “Alriiiiight,”” he says, starting to make his way towards the door. “I’ll just be goin’ then. See you guys tomorrow.”

Neither Chris nor Sebastian bother to respond. Instead, once the door has fallen shut behind Mackie, they continue to look at each other, Chris with wide eyes and a racing heart, Sebastian still with that determined look that makes Chris want to turn around and crawl under the bed, because nothing good can come of this.

Then, from one moment to the next, Sebastian’s shoulders sag. He lets out a weary sounding sigh that Chris feels deep in his bones.

“Look, Chris,” Sebastian starts, slowly standing up from the couch and taking a step closer.

Involuntarily, Chris tenses. Judging by the way he flinches, that doesn’t escape Sebastian’s notice.

“I know you don’t want to talk to me anymore –” Seb lets out a humorless laugh. “Hell, you don’t even want to look me in the eye anymore, and that’s… whatever. I can’t force you to like me and you’re not obligated to just because we work together.”

Chris is rooted to the spot, hearing Sebastian’s words and thinking _no, no, this is all wrong_ , but unable to open his mouth and say the words to fix this. Because he doesn’t know _how_ to fix this. 

Sebastian soldiers on. “But I also can’t just leave things like this without asking you what went wrong.” The look in his eyes turns pleading, cutting through Chris like a blade, slicing his chest right open. “We got along, didn’t we? We had fun, before. I thought we were…” Sebastian swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “I thought we were friends.”

“ _Seb_ ,” Chris blurts out, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest.

For a moment, Sebastian looks at him expectantly, hopefully, but when Chris doesn’t say anything more, because he still doesn’t know _what_ to say, his face falls again.

“Was it me?” Seb asks, a note of desperation in his voice. “Did I do something? I – I never meant to make you uncomfortable in any way, but if I did…” Shaking his head, he drops his gaze to the floor. “I always try to be careful, but, I don’t know.” He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and nibbles on it nervously. “I’m – I’m really sorry if I did something that night that made you uncomfortable. I never meant to… And I’d never expect you to, you know? But I just –”

Chris frowns. “Sebastian,” he interrupts, finally finding his voice again. “What are you talking about?”

Sebastian huffs, hitching up his shoulders towards his ears. “I don’t _know_ , do I?” His eyes are big and round and a little frantic. “I don’t know what’s going on, why you suddenly stopped talking to me and wanting to hang out with me, but I can’t think of any other reason than that I must’ve done something. And I don’t know what I did but I just thought, maybe I could apologize and we could go back to –” He stops abruptly, sucking in a shaky breath. “Well, not go back to how it was before, probably, but hopefully to something a little less… cold.”

This time, Chris actually groans out loud. He claps a hand over his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, between his eyes, where a headache has started to build. God, this is a mess. He wants to punch himself in the face and possibly chuck himself off the nearest bridge, but he knows he won’t be able to get out of this so easily. After this, there’s no way he can just let Sebastian go on thinking he did something to make things all weird between him when he hasn’t done anything wrong, ever.

It’s time to man up and face the music – he owes Sebastian that much, and much more. He forces himself to remove his hand from his eyes and look at his friend. _Really_ look at him. The funny little dance his insides do just at finally getting to look Sebastian in the eye again only strengthens his resolve. 

“Sebastian…” Chris pleads, hands uselessly curling into fists at his sides, again and again. “Please, stop. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I haven’t?” Sebastian’s eyes roam Chris’s face, searching. “It wasn’t me?”

Chris shakes his head. “No. No, it wasn’t. And I’m so, so sorry that I accidentally made you believe it was, that really wasn’t my intention. It’s uh.” He takes a deep breath, shaky with nerves, and pushes out, “It’s me, actually.”

A long beat of silence follows his statement.

“ _It’s not you, it’s me?_ ” Sebastian says finally, a little incredulous, looking like he doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “You realize you sound like you’re about to break up with me, right?”

Chris huffs out a laugh, scuffing the carpet with his socked foot. “Nah,” he says, then looks back up at Sebastian. “Kinda the opposite, actually.”

Sebastian blinks. “The opposite of breaking up with me? But that’d mean you –” He stops abruptly, eyes growing wide and round. “Oh.”

Chris’s heart is racing so fast now he’s positive Sebastian must be able to hear it as it tries to slam its way out of his chest. He’s not sure if he’s ever been this nervous, and that’s saying something for someone who’s suffered from anxiety most of his life. He feels himself flush hot all over and wishes he could take off his shirt, but he figures that probably won’t go down too well right now.

“Yeah,” Chris replies belatedly, a little breathless. His eyes dart over Sebastian’s face, trying to read his reaction, but his expression is oddly blank. “I’m – I’m really sorry, Seb. I don’t know how it happened, but… it did. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or make things weird, so I just thought, if I could just avoid you as much as possible, maybe I’d be able to get through this press tour without things going all sideways, but then they did anyway, and I really didn’t mean for them to, I’m genuinely really sorry.” He lets out a breath, trying to steady his heartbeat as he waits for some kind of response.

Several tense seconds pass, during which Chris starts to increasingly wish the ground would just open up and swallow him whole, before Sebastian finally opens his mouth.

“Are you… are you saying what I think you’re saying?” he asks, voice level.

This is it. This is his last chance to back out and pretend he was talking about something different and let things go on being awkward, probably even more so, but without having to spill his deepest secret.

 _Fuck that_ , Chris thinks, and takes the plunge. “I think I’m in love with you.”

Sebastian makes a tiny sound that Chris doesn’t know how to interpret. He stares at him intently, making Chris shift nervously under his gaze. “You – Chris, I swear to god, if you’re playing with me right now…”

“I’m not,” Chris protests immediately. “I’d never jeopardize our friendship like that. It’s bad enough I’m doing it as it is.” 

“So, what you’re saying is you have actual feelings for me? Like, romantic feelings?”

Chris frowns. “Is there another type of being in love that I don’t know about?”

Sebastian huffs out a wobbly laugh. “I guess not.”

They stand there, looking at each other, until Chris can’t bear it any longer. “Can you just – say something? Please? I understand that this comes as a shock and you probably hate me for like, lusting over you when all you see me as is a friend, and you probably don’t even like men – fuck, _I_ don’t even like men, I just like you, but I –”

“Chris,” Sebastian cuts in. “Can you… shut up for a moment?”

Chris’s jaw snaps shut with an audible click.

“When did this happen?” Sebastian asks.

“I, um…” At the memory alone, Chris’s cheeks start to heat up. Damn his fair skin. “Last weekend. The last time we watched a movie together. You went back to your room after, and I had a… a dream.” Chris is pretty sure his face is the color of a tomato. He can’t look Sebastian in the eye.

“You had a dream about me and that means you’re in love with me?” Sebastian says slowly. “I don’t think that’s how it works, Chris.”

Gritting his teeth, Chris plows on. In for a penny… “It wasn’t just the dream, though. It was like the dream was a catalyst for all these – these _feelings_ I’d kept hidden, even from myself, to come pouring out, and I suddenly couldn’t think about anything but you, Seb. How your eyes crinkle when you smile, the way you nibble your lip when you’re anxious, how seriously you take your craft. Christ, my heart literally fucking _skips a beat_ every time you look at me and I have daydreams about wanting to hold your hand and take you to Disneyland and introduce you to my mom, and I just –” He breaks off on a sigh, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “As far as I know, that’s what it’s like to be in love with someone.”

His words are greeted by more silence. When Chris chances a glance, it’s just in time to see Sebastian stride over to him and for a split second, he thinks he’s about to get punched –

And then Sebastian reaches out, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him into a kiss.

“Mpphhg,” Chris says, eyes growing wide. He freezes up in shock, but Sebastian just keeps kissing him – _kissing him_ – and after a moment or two, Chris thankfully breaks out of his inertia.

He gasps into Sebastian’s mouth, giving him the chance to lick into it and deepen the kiss, and Chris once again feels like he’s on fire, though this time it’s a different type from the one that had made his palms feel sweaty only moments before. Chris’s hands come up to press against Sebastian’s ribs, and he doesn’t miss the shiver that runs through Sebastian’s entire body as he slides them slowly up and down his sides.

He pulls Sebastian closer, melting into his embrace, reveling in the knowledge that Sebastian kisses just like he does everything else; with gentle determination and a good amount of cheek. He kisses like he knows what he wants and isn’t holding back, but at the same time there’s an unselfishness to him, a sweetness that makes Chris feel tender and bruised all over.

He never wants to stop kissing him, never wants to give up the intoxicating slide of their tongues, the sweet little nips of lips and teeth that have Chris moaning softly into the kiss.

But he needs to know –

“Mmm, Seb,” Chris murmurs against his mouth, as Sebastian chases his lips in an attempt to deepen the kiss again. “What’re we doing?”

“What’s it look like we’re doing?” Sebastian says finally. He’s panting a little, eyes glassy and a lot darker than usual. All of a sudden, Chris’s breath gets caught in his throat. Jesus, he’s gorgeous.

He pulls Sebastian against him with an arm wrapped around his waist, brushing his floppy chestnut hair back off his forehead. “I guess what I mean is, what are _you_ doing?”

Sebastian blinks up at him. “I’m kissing you,” he says, in a tone that clearly implies the unsaid ‘you fool.’

“Yes, I noticed that,” Chris replies fondly. “But why?”

Sebastian looks at him for so long Chris is about to start squirming under his gaze. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Honestly? Not really,” Chris says sheepishly. “Look, don’t get me wrong, I’m over the moon to finally be holding you in my arms, but…” He trails off, swallowing hard.

“But what?”

“But if you’re only doing this to spare my feelings or humor me, then –“

Sebastian casts his eyes up at the ceiling and mutters “God, give me strength,” before locking eyes with Chris again. “Chris,” he says, clearly articulating his words. “I’m in love with you, too.”

Chris feels his mouth drop open like he’s some a goddamn cartoon figure. “You are? Since when?”

“Since like, forever,” Sebastian says, managing to sound both flippant and painfully sincere at the same time. “I’m sorry I never said anything, but I honestly never thought you could feel the same. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship or working relationship, so I just… hid it.” He shrugs, like it’s no big deal, but now that he knows what he’s looking for, Chris can clearly see the shadow of the heartbreak the seemingly unrequited love had caused in Sebastian’s ocean-grey eyes.

“Oh, Seb,” Chris says softly, sweeping a thumb over the soft skin under Sebastian’s eye. Sebastian turns his face into his palm, making Chris’s heart thump heavily in his chest. “I’m sorry you had to go through that alone.”

“It’s alright,” Sebastian whispers, giving him a brittle smile. “Well, it is now.”

Chris smiles back at him, feeling like he’s bleeding tenderness and affection out of every single pore.

“You’re really in love with me?”

Sebastian presses his lips to Chris’s palm in a soft, dry kiss. “I am,” he says, voice low and sincere, and now it’s Chris’s turn to shiver.

They stare dopily at each other for a long while, until Sebastian’s eyes suddenly flash with mischief.

“So, you dreamt about me, huh?”

“Ah.” Chris makes a face.

Sebastian’s smile turns sly. “Was it a good dream?”

Chris can feel himself blush again, and he’s grateful for the thick beard that covers a good portion of his face. “It was a _very_ good dream.”

“Yeah?” Sebastian snakes both his arms around Chris’s neck, pressing himself bodily up against him, and Chris’s brain whites out for a moment at the unfamiliar but extremely welcome sensation of feeling an answering hardness in Sebastian’s pants press up against his own. “What did we do?”

“Uh,” Chris says intelligently, breathing starting to pick up again. He can’t seem to tear his eyes away from Sebastian’s mouth; that pretty, pink mouth he thought about kissing at least a hundred times over the past week or so. And then Sebastian licks his lips and Chris’s resistance just… breaks. He gives in, pressing his mouth to Sebastian’s again and murmuring, “Why don’t I show you?” 

Sebastian hums his approval. “First though,” he says then, “there’s something I’d really like to do.” 

“Anything,” Chris nods, and meaning it. “What is it?”

“I’d really like to suck your dick.”

“ _Wh_ \- ” Chris chokes on his next breath, spluttering inelegantly. “You... Yes, okay. That’s – cool.”

A slow smirk blooms on Sebastian’s face. “Yeah? That cool with you?”

“Uh huh,” Chris replies breathlessly, not taking his eyes off Sebastian’s.

Slowly, Sebastian starts to push him backwards, until his back hits the wall, a startled breath leaving him at the impact. His arms hang uselessly at his sides, unsure if he should try to hold on to Sebastian or just let him have his way with him. Christ, anyone would think he’d never had a blowjob before.

Sebastian, the giant tease, places his hands on Chris’s pecs over the white, slightly see through material of his polo shirt, squeezing the muscle like he would a pair of breasts. Chris lets out an embarrassingly breathy sound, because no one’s ever done anything quite like this to him and it feels… dirty. In a good way.

“Fuck,” Sebastian groans, “you have _no idea_ how long I’ve wanted to do this. You and your fucking muscles, Chris, you drive me _insane_. Truly.”

When he kneads him again, Chris can’t do much more than moan, dropping his head back against the wall. He would be embarrassed by his lack of game here, but he’s got more pressing things to worry about. Such as not coming as soon as Sebastian puts that mouth on him.

As if reading his mind, Sebastian starts to slowly sink to his knees. He drags his hands down Chris’s torso as he goes, leaving a trail of shivers in their wake. Chris sucks in a breath as Seb starts to fumble with his belt and jeans button, feeling keyed up and shaky, not knowing what to do with himself.

Sebastian seems to pick up on his agitation and he makes a low, soothing sound. “Put your hands on me,” he orders gently.

“Where?”

“Doesn’t matter. Shoulders, hair, whatever you like.”

Not needing to be told a second time, Chris reaches up and sinks his fingers into Sebastian’s chestnut tresses. He lets out a little sigh.

“Soft,” he mutters inanely.

Sebastian blinks up at him and smiles, and Chris melts. Just melts into a big ol’ puddle of feels for this phenomenal, one-of-a-kind man at his feet.

That is, until Sebastian continues his endeavors to get his pants off. He’s quick and efficient about it, and before Chris knows it, his jeans and boxers are halfway down his thighs and his bare and very hard dick hovers right in front of Sebastian’s face.

“I knew it,” Sebastian mutters at his dick. “Goddamn you.”

It almost makes Chris giggle, but then Sebastian is leaning in and mouthing up his shaft and from one moment to the next, all the air is punched out of Chris’s lungs. Those lips, those pink, soft lips, dance along his cock, from the root to the tip, before they close around him and he _sucks_.

“Oh shit, fucking – _ahh_ , _Sebastian_.”

As Seb’s mouth slowly sinks down on his length, Chris’s hands tighten in his hair, drawing an appreciative rumble from Sebastian’s throat that travels all along Chris’s cock and balls. It’s divine, and it’s so much and Chris has never been right at the edge faster than he is now. He takes a deep, steadying breath, reciting his grandma’s pumpkin pie recipe in his head, managing to back away from the edge just enough to dare a glance down at Sebastian, kneeled before him.

It’s a shock to find Sebastian looking back at him, eyes dark, cheeks flushed pink like the pink of his lips which are wrapped around his cock, and Chris whimpers.

“Oh my god,” he breathes, running his fingers through Sebastian’s hair like he’s wanted to do all week. “Oh fuck, that feels so good, Seb, _Jesus._ ”

The way Sebastian blinks up at him could almost be innocent, if it wasn’t for the way he swirls his tongue around the head of Chris’s cock, devious and irresistible, making Chris’s hips jerk forward.

“Shit, sorry,” he pants, but Sebastian doesn’t even flinch. Just swallows him down again and licks and sucks like he never wants to do anything else in life every again, and honestly, it’s doing wonders for Chris’s ego.

Sebastian comes up then to gulp in a large breath and rasp, “Fuck, you taste good,” before sinking down again and upping the tempo. He really puts his back into it, and Chris can’t do anything but let him, moaning helplessly as his legs start to tremble and his fingers scrabble at Sebastian’s scalp and shoulders.

“Ahh, yes, _yes, fuck_ ,” Chris pants, the muscles in his abdomen tightening. “ _Baby_.”

Sebastian responds instantly to the term of endearment that slipped so thoughtlessly from Chris’s lips. He moans, eyes closing in bliss as he takes Chris all the way down the back of his throat and swallows around him. His free hand slips between Chris’s legs to stroke his balls before he swallows again, and Chris is done for.

“Baby, ahh, Seb – _baby_.” He groans, his entire body convulsing as he shoots off into the intoxicating wet heat of Sebastian’s perfect, blessed mouth.

Sebastian hums softly as he strokes Chris through his climax, swallowing everything down with a happy, blissful look on his face that Chris won’t ever forget for as long as he lives.

Once he’s spent, his legs feel like they’re about to give out, so Chris lets himself slide down the wall to join Sebastian on the floor. He immediately pulls him in for a kiss, wet and sloppy and tasting of his own come, and Chris thinks it’s maybe the best kiss of his life.

“ _Christ_ ,” he breathes against Sebastian’s lips, “where’d you learn to do that?”

Sebastian chuckles. “You really wanna know?”

He gives it all of one second’s thought. “Actually, no, never mind.”

“Thought so,” Sebastian smirks.

Now that Chris is slowly returning to his senses, he also becomes aware of the fact that Sebastian is still very much sporting a hard-on inside his own jeans.

Suddenly, Chris gets nervous. He _wants_ to touch Sebastian, wants to please him the way Seb has pleased him, but this will be his first time touching another man’s dick and he’s honestly not sure he’s ready to report for blowjob duty. What if he fucks it up? He’s never shied away from a challenge, but making a good first impression on the guy he’s in love with is kind of a huge deal and a he wants to make it _good_ for him, but he has no idea where to even start.

“Chris,” Sebastian says softly, breaking him out of his spiraling thoughts. “Stop thinking, sweetheart.” He leans in, brushing a light kiss to Chris’s cheekbone. “I understand this is a lot at once. You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for, okay?”

Inhaling deeply through his nose, Chris nods. “Okay,” he agrees, then admits, “I’m not sure if I can, uh, do what you did – yet. I need some time to work up to it, I think.”

“That’s fine,” Sebastian assures him. “You have no idea how fine that is. I can’t believe I’ve got you here at all, I really don’t need anything else right now.”

“But I could do like, you know…” Chris gulps. “Manual?”

Suppressing a smile, Sebastian loops his arms around Chris necks and squeezes him tightly for a second. “Manual would be great, Chris.”

They drag themselves up off the floor, Chris kicking off his jeans and stripping himself out of his shirt too because anything else would just look silly, and they lose a few minutes to Sebastian cursing and getting his hands all over Chris’s body like he’s admiring a prize cow, but sexier.

Then, Chris demands that Sebastian takes off his clothes as well, which leads to Chris very nearly expiring on the spot from how much he wants this perfect specimen of a man stretched out on the bed in front of him. Sebastian still has some of that muscle on him he built for filming Civil War, and while Chris thinks he’d be just as gorgeous in his usual, slimmer body, he can’t deny that it’s a bit of a thrill to know Seb could probably throw him around a little if he wanted to. Something to explore some other time, he decides.

For now, he focuses on running his palms down Sebastian’s surprisingly smooth skin, over his arms, his sides, his abs, and up and down those lean, strong legs.

“God, I’ve thought about how these legs would feel wrapped around my waist _so_ many times these past few days,” Chris admits.

Sebastian hums, his eyes dark and hooded as he looks up at him. “You could find out later, if you’re up for it.”

Chris groans, dropping his forehead to Sebastian’s clavicle. “Jesus, Seb.”

Surging up, Sebastian captures Chris’s mouth in a deep, filthy kiss that gets them right back on track. Chris isn’t hard yet, but he can already feel himself getting there with the way Sebastian’s naked body feels against him, the soft, needy sounds he’s making under his touch.

Steeling himself, Chris props himself up on his left arm and runs his other hand down Sebastian’s torso until he can wrap it around his erection. Sebastian’s cock is hard and hot in his palm, but soft too, so soft, so unlike how it feels to touch his own dick and yet practically the same. It eases some of the tension he’s been holding and tightens his grip a little, giving him an experimental tug.

“ _Aah_ ,” Sebastian keens, his back arching, and head tipping backwards. Suddenly, Chris is overcome with awe. Sebastian, sweet, funny, talented, sassy Sebastian, is letting _Chris_ touch him and pleasure him and the realization of that hits Chris square in the chest.

“Christ, you’re stunning,” he whispers, eagerly leaning down to kiss Seb again.

“Feels good,” Sebastian breaths when Chris pulls back. “So good, Chris.” His hands drag over Chris’s back, fingers digging into his skin, and that spurs Chris on to stroke him faster. It’s immensely satisfying, to watch Sebastian respond to his touch so beautifully. “Yes, yeah, please, Chris, _unhh_.”

“Baby, so beautiful, so good for me, huh?” Chris murmurs, pressing his forehead to Sebastian’s, watching his pretty face screw up in pleasure. Chris twists his hand, his palm smoothly gliding over the wet head of Sebastian’s cock, and Sebastian shakes, his mouth open, glistening and enticing, little panting breaths falling off his parted lips.

“I’m – Chris, oh fuck, I’mmmhh –”

Chris tightens his grip infinitesimally, jacking him just a little faster. “Yeah? C’mon, Seb, do it. Come for me, baby.”

And Sebastian does. The moan that was halfway out of him breaks off, gets stuck in his throat as his body arches, pressing closer to Chris and pressing his fingers almost painfully into his flesh. He spills over Chris’s fist, warm and sticky, and Chris finds himself regretting passing up the chance to find out what he tastes like. _Next time_ , he thinks, and then reels from the notion that there _will_ be a next time.

“Beautiful,” Chris says again, earnestly, letting his eyes roam freely over Sebastian’s features, lax with pleasure.

Sebastian smiles up at him sweetly, all soft and sated and so beautiful it hurts, and sighs, “You are.”

Chris laughs softly, dipping down to kiss Sebastian’s nose. “Sure, sweetheart. Whatever you say.” 

\---

The next morning, when Chris and Sebastian make their down to the hotel lobby, freshly showered and thrumming with that weird kind of enervated tiredness that comes with a night of little sleep but lots of great sex, they’re greeted by the sight of Mackie leaning against the wall next to the elevators.

He’s wearing the most infuriatingly smug smirk Chris has probably ever seen on him, and Chris knows they’ve been knew.

“Top of the morning to you, gentlemen,” Mackie greets them gleefully. He tilts back his head and taps his throat. “Say, Sebastian, is that a hickey from Kenickie you got right there?”

Sebastian blushes an adorable pink, and Chris, feeling giddy and happy, takes a little stage bow.

“About time you two idiots sorted yourselves out,” Mackie scolds playfully, then catcalls them all the way to the cab.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Come and shout with me about these two on [Tumblr](https://musette22.tumblr.com/) if you want!
> 
> Disclaimer: I might have gotten the timings of this press tour wrong, but hey 🤷🏻♀️


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